Our money stories are so incredibly potent and for most of us they remain under the surface. We never think to examine them or how they got written. But all of these beliefs we have about money subconsciously color our behavior, the choices we make, and our ability to attract money into our lives.
My money story was shaped by my parents, and their money story in turn was shaped by their parents.
The stories we tell ourselves about money can shape our financial lives if we let them.
My mom grew up in a home without a reliable income. Her mother passed away when she was a little girl and her father often left them alone. My mother and her siblings started working early to support themselves and each other. My mother worked to pay her own way through college and has worked ever since.
My dad grew up in a home with two parents and plenty for all of them. They had a big house and a summer house in the woods. They had a large extended family and everyone was fairly well off. My dad took a blue collar job and never finished college but always had enough money.
I grew up in a mixture of two money stories. From my mother I learned that money was very important and that our main quest should be to put ourselves in the position to earn as much money as possible. That is how we would keep ourselves and our families safe and provided for. She liked to talk about how I should enroll in engineering school or pharmacy school because that's where the money is.
But we also never worried that we wouldn't have enough. I was able to attend private schools as a child, and we were gifted our house by my grandparents. I may not have had the fanciest version of everything all the time, but I definitely had what I needed. I was able to travel, to have family vacations. My parents were able to help pay for some of my college fees.
I developed this weird combination money story of "I will never have enough money but I will be able to live the life I want anyway".
I was able to finish college and a masters degree, but had a sizable mountain of loan debt afterward. That didn't seem strange to me because it fit right into my money story.
When I got my first job out of grad school and was barely making enough to cover rent and expenses, I didn't find it strange. It fit right into my story. I would never have enough, but I was living the life I wanted.
I didn't even notice my money story until my partner and I married and combined our finances. He had a completely different money story and let’s just say they didn't mesh well. After examining my money story and bringing it to the surface it became easier to talk about, and it's easier for us to plan our money together.
I still have work to do, though.
I was able to change my money story from "I will never have enough but it's ok" to "I have enough". But now I have just enough!
The next step is working to manifest abundance.
Because “just enough” is not the way my money story will end. I am working on writing a new money story intentionally, instead of inheriting what my parents taught me subconsciously or simply trying to course correct.
How powerful it would be to write a money story based on what I actually believe and what I want to see in my life!
And to anyone who thinks that this whole money story thing is a bit out there, what is money but a story that we collectively tell ourselves? Money is an idea that we have all agreed to and accepted. The first step to changing our economy and our worlds' money story is to change the stories we tell ourselves.
