Lots of things are scary in life, and starting your own business or even switching to a new career or a new job can be one of them. I'm excited to finally be participating in Spirit Junkie Masterclass to help me grow and develop not just as an entrepreneur but as a spiritual entrepreneur - one whose goals and ambitions are rooted in helping others find the power of love and acceptance and support.
The most powerful thing that I did during the first week of the masterclass was writing my fear statement. I know it's an activity I will come back to over and over.
Fears are powerful, especially the unspoken ones that we hide deep down and may not even realize ourselves. During a free-writing about my fears I realized that probably the biggest fear and limiting belief I have carried is that I am not a likable person.
Fears are powerful, especially the unspoken ones that we hide deep down and may not even realize ourselves.
When I was young I changed schools several times. Once because my family moved to a new town. Then I changed schools twice more as I moved through private schools into the public school system. In my early years I often felt like if I wanted friends I would have to win them. I would have to engage in ways that showed them I was fun, nice, exciting, smart, cool.
In my head I developed a subconscious ranking system of who I could possibly be friends with. Who would I be able to convince that I was likable? Who was too cool, pretty, or popular to be open to accepting me?
As an adult this shows up in some interesting ways. I don't like to wait for book signings or photographs with people I admire. I often feel like I won't be accepted by those I admire the most.
Writing all of this out feels incredibly vulnerable. I'm not saying that I didn't have great friends and wonderful relationships, but in new social situations or job interviews or meeting new people I am still constantly finding myself "performing" who I think I should be in that situation. It keeps me from making authentic connections, and sometimes even exacerbates the problem.
Through listening to this fear that I'm unlikeable I have put up barriers between myself and so many other people. These barriers make me feel safer but also keep me from ever being able to prove the fear wrong. It leads me to compare myself with others constantly, and creates bitterness and disharmony in my life.
I'm so thrilled that I'm able to finally recognize this fear and start the work of transforming this fear into love.
Freedom from this fear will allow me to form more authentic connections with my clients, students, and fellow humans. It will allow me to bring my whole self to my work, and it will allow me to experience deeper peace and love.
I'm feeling so energized now that I am doing this work, and I can't wait to see what else I learn throughout this process!