As a life coach I’ve amassed a great many tools over the years that allow me to guide others through the process of clarifying what they want and creating a life full of exactly that! And this year, on January 1, I decided to break out one of my favorite tools and use it myself. That tool is the Desire Map Workbook, created by Danielle LaPorte, and in the next few blog posts, I’m going to wax poetic about how this tool is helping me map out my plans for 2023!
The Desire map book on white fabric with a notebook, pen, and an insulated cup
The start of a new year is a time that makes many of us long to settle down, snuggle up, and dream about what is to come. Some of us create goals or resolutions, others choose a word or set an intention for the year to come. I did a little of all of these, plus some meditation and tarot card pulls. But the one thing that called out to me to really dive into this January was the Desire Map.
This workbook uses a lot of free-form journalling and reflection to help you clarify what your Core Desired Feelings are. Once those are known, it becomes almost like a compass for living your most true and beautiful life. Instead of trying to map out achievements, you need only follow your core desired feelings as they bring you closer and closer to what’s meant for you.
There’s no limit to how many feelings you might choose. Some people choose one, some choose five. Each time I do this process I seem to end up with three (which is fine by me, because three is a magic number!)
Here are my Core Desired Feelings for 2023, and what each one means to me.
Connection
To me, connection means so much more than just knowing people you can ask for help. It means roots growing together so that trees can communicate. It means the way that the trees are connected to the air and the water and the light in the same way that our lungs are connected to the air and the water and the light. It means that we're really all the same, not only all people, but all of everything. I am you and you are me and when I forget that it leads to pain and loneliness. I'm not alone. There are millions and billions of me all around because I am the universe and we are all the same thing.
It turns out that connection is pretty freeing and incredibly empowering, but also calls us to do our best to show up for the people in our lives, the earth we live on, and the communities we are a part of in a way that it’s easy to tap out of. For me, connection is embodied by new friends gathered around a table, bare feet planted in the grass, and the deep, steady inhale of air into my lungs.
Inspiration
I love seeing how connected my words are in my mind. On the one hand, inspiration is all about the breath. Literally breathing in. I would love to cultivate a strong and beautiful appreciation for my breath this year. I think my work with my pelvic floor has helped me learn how important it is to breathe deeply, all the way through my body. (Side note to literally any humans with a pelvic floor - look into this it is magical and deeply necessary!)
On the other hand, the feeling of inspiration speaks to my intention of being open to signs and signals from my muses, from the spirit of my business, and from my spirit guides and guardian angels. My desire to open wider to input from my tarot and oracle pulls, for answered prayers, and for signs from the universe. Inspiration represents allowing myself to be led and guided, instead of trying to use my own human brain to try to control everything in my life at all times (which, let’s face it, hasn’t really worked for anyone, has it?)
Glowing
Glowing means tht my belief and my self-assuredness and my purpose and my happiness are so well-nurtured that they shine out of me and are visible to anyone who sees me or enters my space.
Glowing means that I nurture myself and care for myself the way that the witches cared for the star in Stardust: making myself so happy and so relaxed and so calm that I literally radiate light to those around me. It means also that my energy field, the electrical forces that radiate out from me, my aura, the energetic function of my person that interacts with the energies and auras of everyone around me.... that field is projecting positive, calm, loving vibes.
The fun thing about Glowing is that, as I think about it, the primary way I can achieve it is just by nourishing and loving the hell out of myself. And in a way it seems like the scariest and most difficult to achieve.
These words are so much more than I initially thought when they emerged out of my journaling and the workbook this year. I'm not sure what I expected, but what I found is that the dictionary definitions of the words might be one thing, but what they mean to me in this phase of my life is so much more!
I love this exercise because it's like a compass that helps guide me through all the things that are happening in my life. The situation might look different than I had planned, and the individual goals might not be achieved, but if I'm moving towards more of these three things in my life, then I know I'm on the path I want for myself.