I had to quit my job recently.
I was repeating a pattern that had become familiar to me, and it may be one that's familiar to you as well. It goes like this:
I take a job at a company I'm really excited about. I like their mission. I like their vibe. I am thrilled to join the team.
It takes a little bit, but I get my footing and I start doing GREAT WORK. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but great work is the kind of work I do. When I'm excited about something I give it my all, I come up with creative ideas. I don't "go hard or go home" I literally just go hard. Always.
I get maybe a little too excited. I start dedicating extra time, extra brainpower to how this whole thing could work a bit better. I become invested. Even though it's not, at all, it starts to feel very much like my circus. my monkeys. I let some boundaries blur. I overpromise. I overdeliver.
I start pursuing new opportunities, new projects, and trying to consistently level up. Eventually I realize that the value I'm providing is topping out what I've been asked to do, and what I've been paid to do. It's hard to backpedal from this place. Doing less feels like doing... not enough. But the company's not about to offer me more money.
I start a dialogue with management. I let them know what I've been thinking, where I stand and what I'm hoping for. They say (generally the same in every company) that they'll see what they can do.
By this time I've become so resentful that there's not really a good resolution possible. Either they can't swing what I'm asking for, or won't. I can't backpedal my work without feeling bored, and I can't keep working at my current level without feeling taken advantage of.
This played out for me in several jobs before I realized it was a a pattern of mine. And it's one of the reasons I decided to start working for myself, not to be an employee.
The scary part is that this last time I had already started my own business, and had taken a part-time job "just for fun" and for some extra income. Basically just enough to pay for my kid's childcare while I was working.
Even when I'm aware of them, even though I'm a fucking life coach, old patterns are hard to shake.
This is a tough lesson and one I will keep re-learning until I get the universal lesson lurking underneath. What's that lesson? Well, I think I know but I guess I'll find out soon enough.