What does it feel like to be in a mind free from anxiety?
One of my clients asked this yesterday and I had to be honest and say that I don't know.
I'm not a mental health professional, and I'm not trained to deal with anxiety, but I know what helps me with my own.
When I find myself scared or trapped in fearful thoughts, I'm able to reset myself in two different ways.
I use different tools for managing irrational fears versus rational ones.
The first is to acknowledge my fear isn't real.
This is really helpful when I'm stuck in a thought pattern that I actually don't believe.
Like this:
"What if I quit my job and then I never get another job and I can't make any money and we lose our house and then my husband hates me and then...."
See how the thoughts can spiral?
Now, once I notice these thoughts I can realize that I don't actually believe any of that is likely to happen. I believe I'd be able to find at least some other job, and I know that this worst-case scenario my brain is cooking up is just a fearful projection. It's not real.
Once I see it for what it is, I'm able to choose whether or not I want to keep dwelling on it. I can move forward with more realistic expectations. This works really well for me with irrational fears and anxiety.
Sometimes this doesn't work, though, because my anxiety is based on logical fears.
In these cases, I choose a slightly more positive mantra.
This helps a lot with my driving anxiety.
I get pretty scared on the road because we're all driving around in giant metal boxes that, if they hit other metal boxes or any other object can cause severe damage and physical harm. I do not know the mindset, skill level, or intentions of any of the other giant-metal-box operators, and have to assume that at least some of them may be very dangerous.
Car accidents happen and are a fairly real danger. Because of this, I can't rationalize my way out of this fear.
But still, it's not helpful while I'm driving to be having an anxiety attack.
Instead, I pick a positive mantra to repeat, so that I don't dwell in fearful thoughts.
In the case of driving, my mantra is "everyone is trying to reach their destination safely." (I started with "no one is actually trying to kill me", but my coach thought I should pick something more positive-sounding.)
In this case, it's important to pick a reasonable thought that's positive, but not so positive that you can't believe it in your anxiety-ridden state. Telling myself "everyone on the road is a skilled and careful driver" would be too big a stretch for me. So I settle for something a bit closer to where my head is at, and I do truly believe that no one on the road wants to get into an accident.
These are the two main strategies I use to deal with my anxiety on a daily basis.
I also use happy music, meditation, and positive affirmations to help keep me in a happy mindset.
I hope these tools can help you too!
If you feel like you need more help dealing with anxiety, especially if it's frequent or very strong, I recommend checking out an online therapy option like betterhelp.com or talkspace.com, or finding an anxiety specialist in your area!
What tools do you use to help manage your anxiety? I’d love to hear!