You say you have an irrational fear?

I disagree.

I think your fear is totally rational. Most of them are.

When you say your fear is irrational, about 95% of the time what you mean is that your fear is inconvenient. Unhelpful. Getting in the way.

I told my life coach that I had an irrational fear of driving, that it was worse in bad weather or at night, or if I was driving somewhere I didn't know. It was bad when I was driving and often worse if someone else was driving. I wanted to know how to deal with this irrational fear.

She asked me what I was afraid of specifically.

I told her.

When I'm driving I'm afraid that any one of the other drivers on the road could all of a sudden do something really stupid, aggressive, or just careless and crash right into me. It's like there are all these strangers driving giant metal battering rams around and I'm just supposed to be calm about it? I'm supposed to pretend like they couldn't just crash into me at any moment?

My coach's response was that it didn't sound like an irrational fear. It sounded pretty rational. Everything I was saying was true. Driving is dangerous. Being on the road is dangerous.

But it might not be particularly helpful.

Because, of course, I wasn't planning on never driving again. So I needed to find ways to be able to be afraid of driving (rationally) and still drive.

After a mass shooting took place in a company I work for, I told my therapist that I now had an irrational fear of crowds, being outside, being in public. I was afraid, I told her, that at any moment a stranger who doesn't even know me could pull out a gun and start shooting.

That makes sense, she said. That doesn't sound irrational.

But it doesn't sound particularly helpful.

There are lots of things we should be afraid of in this world. Just because those fears stand in the way of you trotting happily about your day, it doesn't mean that they are irrational. You are rational. And you're scared. And that's ok.

And, you don't need to let those fears be the driving force in your decision-making. Coaching can help you with strategies to consciously change your thought patterns, and coping strategies so that you can come back to calm faster. I know, because I use them literally every day.

When I'm driving now, I use affirmations in the car and put on podcasts or audiobooks to keep my brain busy.

(The one I came up with is "nobody on the road is *trying* to kill me", but my coach suggested I change it to "everyone here is trying to get home safe". Probably for the best).

I practice mindfulness techniques and gratitude journalling to help me cope with my fears about the general craziness of life. All of it helps to keep my totally rational fears from interfering with the things I want to do.

I'm telling you this because little fears and big fears are present every day and I want you to 1) know that you're not alone or crazy for feeling these fears and 2) know that there are lots of strategies that can help.

If you're ready to see how coaching can help you live guided by light instead of fear, sign up for your consultation today.