In the year that I’ve been coaching professionally, I’ve been surprised by how many of the women I work with mention some version of “getting ready to start a family” as one of the major motivations for investing in coaching.
It’s not something that I was initially expecting, but as I saw more and more women say this, I recognized the deep truths behind it.
We’re scared of losing ourselves and losing our footing as we embark on big life changes, and for women starting a family comes with changes in your body, your physical chemistry, and the way you approach every aspect of your life.
The very fact that I was afraid of getting stuck if I had a child motivated me to pursue my own goals more actively.
I was personally dedicated to getting into the best shape I could before I got pregnant. This was partly because I felt like I was preparing for some sort of marathon. But most of it was a fear that I would never “get my body back” after giving birth, and a hope that if I was fit before I got pregnant, I’d have a better chance of slimming down once I had given birth.
I also made some big life changes before I started trying to conceive. I left my full-time job where I was feeling increasingly stressed and unappreciated, and jumped into the unknown to try to start my own business. I was terrified of getting stuck in a life or lifestyle I didn’t want just because I had children.
On the one hand, the fears I had (and still have) about what my life will be after I give birth are founded on what I’ve internalized from my society, and not necessarily based on truth. I know that the portrayal in American culture of mothers as martyrs isn’t a universal truth or an inescapable path. But it loomed large in my head.
On the other hand, those same fears became a motivation for me to make changes I’d been dreaming about in my life. The very fact that I was afraid of getting stuck if I had a child motivated me to pursue my own goals more actively. My fear of losing control of my body motivated me to get stronger and healthier than I had been in my life.
And I know I can’t be the only woman afraid that everything is going to get exponentially harder after I have a kid, because I hear those same concerns in the voices of my clients when I ask them “why now?”.
How does coaching help with these fears?
Through coaching, you’ll develop a deeper understanding and insight into what you need and what is best for you. This allows you to stop second-guessing yourself and make intentional plans for your future.
You’ll also develop techniques that help you get and stay healthy, fit, and energized that feel uniquely right for you. Instead of just following one set plan with guidelines, you’ll become the confident maker of your own plans and rules, which you can update and revise as your life changes.
Perhaps most importantly, you’ll become a master at noticing your fearful thought patterns, and deciding whether or not you’re going to let them shape your life (and in what ways). You’ll get super skilled at releasing your fears and coming back to more positive thoughts and emotions.
These benefits of coaching are helpful at any stage in life, but I can now assure you from personal experience, they certainly make the journey into motherhood a lot less daunting!
Ready to see how coaching can help you prepare for what comes next? Schedule a free 30-minute intro call with me today!