I grew up in a family that really loved Christmas, and had lots of big family traditions around the holidays. Every year since I can remember we’ve celebrated Christmas Eve at my aunt’s house. My mom and aunt switch off hosting Thanksgiving. We watch the same movies, sit around in our pajamas, and although our family circle expanded over the years and some of us (o.k., really just me) moved far away, for most of the thirty years I’ve been alive my holiday season has looked the same.
When I got married, I spent my first Christmas away from my parents and sisters, and it was hard. I was 27 that year and I remember being sad all day that my Christmas wasn’t really Christmas if the traditions weren’t playing out that way.
We expect to grow and change. We expect to move away from our parents’ house and pick up new hobbies, meet new people, and start new lives. But I never really expected my Christmas traditions to change. But it’s definitely been a year for change, and looking around me I can see so many friends and family who experience Christmas in a much different way.
This Christmas, for some of my friends, will be the first after their marriage ended. The first after a friend or loved one passed away. The first after they lost their job. For others, it will be the first Christmas with their new partner, in a new home, or with a new child. Sometimes I think that the holidays are so hard because they change so little. The smells, the sounds, and the sights remind us of all the holidays we’ve had before, and it can be easy to get caught in self-pity or self-congratulation. Are we better or worse off than we were last year?
But the one thing I love most about the Christmas holiday is that, for me, it’s all about hope. It’s about finding the light in the darkness and taking time to slow down and celebrate those we have around us, and the love we’ve shared in the past year. It’s about taking what’s normal and all around us every day, our houses, our plants, our offices, and dressing them up in lights and festive decorations. Once a year we take the time to make everything just a little more special, for no other reason than to delight the people who will see it every day.
Whether we’ve gained or lost over the past year, we’re all here together now, and we get to take the time to celebrate that connection and try to make it as special as we can.