This is maybe the most important thing I have ever read:
"Nine times out of ten, our fear is directive. It's a signpost, pointing us in the exact direction our soul wants to go."-Marie Forleo
I started this morning in a panic. I woke up at around 3am and literally couldn't breathe. Over night my chest had become congested almost out of nowhere. I woke up because it had gotten so tight that, unless I was actively thinking about breathing, it wasn't happening.
Fear and panic and frustration.
There goes my good night's sleep. Now I have to deal with feeling sick. All this discomfort.
I started reading in the bathtub, with a space heater on and the water as hot as I could stand to help clear out my lungs.
You know what the book I was reading reminded me? It was Normal People by Sally Rooney by the way.
It reminded me that everything is seasons. Everything passes and changes. Our joys will pass and change and our suffering will pass and change.
I put some vicks vapor rub on my chest and under my nose and laid back down in bed, reminding myself that this is not forever. This is not forever.
When I woke up my fear had a different voice.
What if I fail? What if this doesn't work? What about money? What if I don't make enough?
Worst case scenarios have made a playground of my mind.
How do you deal with anxiety?
What is it like to live in a mind with no fear?
Who knows?
I think all of us have fear and we dwell in it at different levels.
So I tried tapping to clear my fear.
I tried journalling to clear my fear.
I tried meditating on gratitude and thanks to clear my fear.
And then?
I tried praying to help me get out of this fear.
"Please help me heal this fear. Please help me heal this fear. Please help me heal this fear.
Thank you, God, for helping me heal this fear."
As soon as my meditation chimer dinged I picked up the book sitting next to me. Marie Forleo's Everything is Figureoutable.
I opened to the next page after my bookmark.
Chapter 5.
How to deal with the Fear of Anything.
THANK YOU !
Message received loud and clear.
And, though the whole chapter was incredibly useful and exactly what I needed today, this one line stood out to me as a lifeline:
“Nine times out of ten, our fear is directive. It's a signpost, pointing us in the exact direction our soul wants to go. “
That was the message I needed today.
This fear doesn't mean that I'm on the wrong path.
It is a sign that I am on the exact right one!
How do I know this is true? Because this fear feels bigger and stronger than most I've ever experienced. This fear is saying "this is your biggest dream, and you could fail"
This fear is telling me clearly that I have two choices: I can leave the fear alone, turn down a different path, and experience less of this fear and uncertainty. But it means I'll never know if I could have made my dream a reality.
Or I can pursue my dream.
And I will feel fear. And I will feel frustration. And I will fail, probably multiple times.
Looking back in my life, I don't think I would have, at any other time, been ready to pick the scarier, more exciting option.
But this time I will.